I was receiving extra text messages last week. Short, kind, caring text messages. Some went like this:
“Is it raining there?”
“Is it still raining?”
“Are you doing ok?”
“Are you safe?”
“Is it windy?”
“Are the trees still standing?”
“Are you floating yet?”

I responded kindly to all the text messages. I appreciated everyone’s thoughts and prayers. It was called a 500 year storm, so I shouldn’t have to worry about the next one coming. We were very fortunate. We had one incident that was worth sharing.

Raindrops – So Many Raindrops

Rain started at 2 p.m. on Thursday and continued until Monday around 7 a.m. The last eight hours was the hardest rain I’d ever experienced. When daylight occurred Monday morning I went and checked the property. Stepping into the “Game Room” some 30 yards from the house, my foot felt a splat on the grey concrete floor. Ground water had seeped into the structure. The nearly two feet of rain had overwhelmed the concrete structure.

We worked for three hours to squeegee and shop vac the water out, but it kept coming in. I called two major restoration companies to get some expert advice. Understandably they were way too busy to provide help. One company did tell me it would stop coming in when the water level went down. I laughed and asked “Do you know when that will be?”

We decided to go to the local hardware store for sandbags. Probably the best decision I’ve made in quite a while. And it wasn’t my decision. It was my wife’s. The hardware store was packed with people. Most buying wet/dry vacuums. This hardware store is family owned and epitomizes customer service at its best. They were out of sandbags. But I was given a name of someone who could provide what I was looking for – advice to stop the water seepage.

I called the person and got voicemail. Totally understandable I thought, so I left a message. Within minutes my phone was ringing with his number identified. He was out pricing jobs, but could stop by in an hour. When he showed up he gave me the advice and instruction I’d been waiting for. Then to my surprise and relief he told me he could be back “first thing in the morning” to dig out and install a french drain to suck up and divert water.

True to his word he arrived with shovel in hand to begin the work. Once the trench was deep enough, the trickle of water reversed its path from inside to outside the structure. But digging the trench was hindered by the enormous amount of cedar and magnolia roots which had grown against and under the concrete block foundation. With loppers, a bow saw, a handsaw and a chainsaw we painstakingly removed the obstructions. The trickle became a stream as each root – some over ten feet long and four inches around were yanked from the watery ditch. Mike Rowe would have enjoyed this “dirty job.”

By the afternoon the six ton of rock were holding the drain in place and the game room was drying out with the help of a neighbor’s fans.

THE REST OF THE STORY

I relate this “mini-crisis” for several reasons.

* We were fortunate. The damage and inconvenience we experienced were miniscule when compared to thousands of other people.

* We were present. Had we not been there the water would have continued and the damage would have been far greater.

* Great neighbors still exist. I hear all the time about people not knowing their neighbors. That is not the case here. During the storm we all kept communicating with one another and when our issue arose our neighbors responded quickly.

* Coincidence or a Godsend. Was it a coincidence we just happened to go to the hardware store at the right time? Or that we just happened to run into an employee who provided an expert resource? Was it a coincidence the resource was available to resolve the issue within hours of it occurring?

The answer to all three questions is “no.” It wasn’t a coincidence. It was a Godsend. Things happen for a reason. Reasons we often don’t understand right away. But in time they reveal to us and cause us to pause and reflect.

Maybe the terrific and talented resource will help me with another project someday. It could be that he will help my neighbors – who came by to meet him and check out the work. Someday he may need help in some form or fashion from me. We don’t know how it will all play out. But I know there is a message and a lesson to learn.

In the midst of a crisis, a challenge, or an obstacle it’s well worth the time to reflect on how we faced the situation and what fruitfulness came our way as a result. I contend there is always goodness coming from within an event. We just need to take the time to see and understand what we have been given.

Until next time…

Many years ago, the late Andy Rooney penned a poignant piece entitled “A Bad Case of the August Blues.” He wrote how August was always the most depressing month of the year for him and many others. Among the examples for his opinion were lines like this:

• The vacation is over, but the bills to pay for it are just coming in.
• The grass, which was so lush and green and actually fun to mow is now turning brown and mowing has become a chore.
• The heat, which was a welcome change in June, is now oppressive and often overwhelming.

Mr. Rooney’s piece really resonated with me.

As a kid I recall the depressed feelings I would get once the county fair was over. It usually began the first weekend in August and concluded the following Saturday. Once it was over, I knew the school year would begin and the carefree days of summer would be over. I didn’t mind school, but I hated losing summer. That feeling continued into my adult years, but for a different reason. The end of summer signaled the beginning of winter for me. Winter in the Midwest, unless you like snow, ice and biting cold, was always something to be endured, not enjoyed. As an adult, once Jerry Lewis sang “You’ll never walk alone” on the MDA Labor Day Telethon, I knew autumn would soon be here.

Today, August still has a tendency to get me down. I look around and see all the things I want to get done before the days grow even shorter. Recalling June when it stayed light longer and realizing my minutes are slipping away. I notice this feeling in other people as well. Maybe, as Mr. Rooney pointed out, it is the “oppressive” heat that helps make August overwhelming. After all, it usually is the hottest month of the year. Add in high humidity and breathing becomes far more difficult. I’m no doctor, but I know lack of air to the lungs and brain causes panic and all kinds of issues to the body. Even the dog isn’t crazy about going for an afternoon walk in August. I know it’s time to turn for home when his tongue starts to drag the pavement.

So how do we deal with August? How do we keep it from overwhelming our body and mind?
Here are a few suggestions:

• Take one task at a time. If you have a list, that’s fine, but don’t try to complete the entire list in a day. Space things out and celebrate each successful task.

• Plan your day so your biggest tasks are done first when you’re fresh. Setting priorities is always the best way to accomplish things. It reduces stress because you’re taking care of the most important things that lie in front of you. Just like the old adage of putting the big rocks in the jar first so all the little rocks can fit in as well.

• Don’t stress about what isn’t getting done. If it’s on your list, in priority order, it will get done. At the end of the day, assess what you accomplished and feel good about yourself. All too often, we let what we haven’t completed overwhelm us and that leads to a defeatist attitude. Remember the sidewalk cracks filled with weeds will disappear in December. So if you don’t get to them, don’t worry about it.

• If you have outdoor tasks to complete, do them in the morning or right before dusk. That way you do your best to avoid the oppressive heat. When forced to do outdoor activity in the heat of the day, take frequent breaks, drink plenty of fluids and work in the shade as much as possible.

I’ve learned the secret to defeating the overwhelming feeling of August is to find the shade. It rejuvenates your spirit, refreshes your mind and helps you breath. Shade allows you to pause, reflect, and assess what you’ve accomplished. It makes you feel cool.

You’ve heard the phrase “In the heat of the moment.” It seems to me we rarely react the way we want to “in the heat of the moment.” If we had the wherewithal to step back into the shade, I’d venture to say we’d have much more success with our decisions and our outcomes. The same is true for life. Particularly life in August. Prioritize, pace yourself, don’t stress, and find the shade.

Until next time….

It’s coming. Can you feel it? Spring is in the air. Depending on where you live, you might not believe it, but it is coming. The “positive” change we all look for after the cold, gray, blustery days of winter. I don’t know about you, but when the perennials pop from the earth it rejuvenates my spirit and exhilarates my mind.

As baseball season rolls around I fondly recall the phrase “Hope springs eternal.” It allows the fan to believe this could be the year their team gets to the World Series. That eternal hope should not just apply to baseball and it shouldn’t just arrive in the spring.

Several good people have reached out to me lately as their lives have been forever changed by their job situation. For some it is traumatic. For others it is the new lease on life they have been waiting for. The trauma comes because the person is thrown into a situation unfamiliar to themselves and their family. Too young to retire, too old to think they could be hired by someone else, too insecure that they have marketable skills outside the work they’ve been doing for 10, 15, 20 or more years.

Among the many questions to be answered are possibly these:

What about the kids?
How can we move them now?
Who’s going to take care of the folks or the grandparents if we move?
Will the house sell in this marketplace?

I suspect the circumstances are tantamount to blindly jumping off a diving board and hoping the pool has been filled with water.

The other side of the equation is the person who can’t wait for the next adventure. A chance at a new career, a new hobby, a new location, creating new networks or expanding existing ones. This person is filled with hope for the future and faith in themselves that good things will happen.

W. Mitchell the inspirational speaker, disfigured and confined to a wheel chair from two separate horrific accidents is known for saying “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it.” We can all sit around and complain about our plight in life, our circumstances and our bad luck. Or we can create a new strategy for ourselves to be successful. It really is up to us.

If you have that feeling of despair, hopelessness, anger at your circumstances or overwhelming anxiety, rest assured you’re not alone. This is a natural state of being. At least for a while. Everyone goes through disappointment. Big and small. The key is understanding it’s all temporary and move on. Seek out someone who will provide you positive perspective. You can learn from people who have struggled with blaming others and rationalizing that bad events and circumstances were caused by everyone other than themselves.

Without getting too political, Hillary Clinton immediately comes to mind. She has spent nearly 18 months blaming practically everyone else for her defeat. She goes on speaking tours, wrote a book, and will tell anyone who will listen what she thinks caused her defeat. She could be spending her time in a much more positive way, but she has to be the one to let go and move on. We all could learn from her behavior.

As I’ve visited with folks who have reached out to me, I first empathize with their situation and circumstances and then I pose several questions.

What is their family situation?
What are their plans moving forward?
What is most important to them?

From those few questions I’m able to assess their mindset, their strategic thinking and most of all their values.

I’m pleased to say the people who I have shared time with have been positive, optimistic, innovative in their plans and excited about their future. They all realize it won’t be easy, but they are up for the challenge. They’ve shared stories of people who are completely changing careers, pursuing their “real” dreams, moving to places they always wanted to live and looking at this crossroads as the best thing that could possibly happen to them at this point in their lives. I’m confident these individuals will be successful in their new endeavors. It’s in their DNA to take stock in their circumstances, be confident in their talents and skills and have faith in their future.

The current state of things might seem as bleak as a brown yard on a breezy March morning with the wind directly in their face. But to those who have faith in themselves, to those who are willing to believe the best is yet to be, to those who are creative, innovative, positive people, the future belongs to them. They know the grass will turn green, the colorful perennials will sprout through the thawing earth, and their future will be a budding success.

Until next time….

It happens to me about this time every year. The melancholy, and bittersweet feelings that creep into my heart and mind. The nights become cooler. The morning dew becomes heavier. The sun sets sooner and rises later. All little signs of the times. Absorbed separately, these changes aren’t too bad. But for me they seem to roll together like a snowball heading downhill.

The late journalist Andy Rooney once wrote a column called “A Bad Case of the August Blues.” I’ll always be able to relate to that column. Mowing the grass is not fun anymore like it was in April or May. The crabgrass creeping through the cracks in the sidewalk is now an irritant instead of a challenge.

This time of year is also my most reflective. I find myself contemplating the future and recalling random memories of the past. I remember, people, places, and events. Paul Anka captured the feelings nearly perfectly when he wrote this in 1975:

“Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it’s hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember?
The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you’ve seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life?”

The times of your life are happening all the time. We just don’t realize it until we reflect back on it. Maybe it’s a photo on your phone or a melody on the radio that brings it back to your mind. But the times of your life are always being created.

My daughter just bought a home and moved away. So ironic that she would move at this time of year. I have to say it just added to the feelings I seasonally conjure up. I was reflective and it was bittersweet. But it was mainly a proud feeling. She had worked hard to get to this point in her life and made sound financial decisions.

People deal with good and bad things all the time. Long term illness, daily aches and pains, promotions, graduations, weddings, funerals and births. Each one a moment in time. Each one painful, hopeful, joyous, gratifying, heartwarming, heart wrenching, heart breaking exciting, exhilarating and a memory.

One memory among thousands that make up the time of your life.
We can’t stop the seasons from changing. But we can cherish and remember the times of our lives. As the lyrics remind us:

“Reach out for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The memories are time that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow
Here comes the saddest part
The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
Remember, will you remember, the times of your life.”

Until next time…

This past week, I had the good fortune of working at the U.S. Kids Teen Golf Championships. I was eager to meet the 125 golfers from around the world. Each one 13 years of age.

I’m not exaggerating when I say they came from around the world. Countries like, China, India, Peru, Germany, South Africa, Canada and of course the USA. They came from larger metropolitan areas like Singapore, Lima, Hong Kong, Mexico City, Miami, Boston and New York. And ventured from small towns like Ona, West Virginia and Holly Springs, North Carolina. Each one competing for a teen world championship. Besides every young man being 13 they had other similar characteristics. All were well-mannered, gracious, respectful, poised and positive. Everyone seemed happy to be there. They all shook hands before teeing off and shook hands on the 18th green.

Every 13 year old was impressive in their own right, but of the 125 participants I was struck by four, particularly. The first was from West Virginia. He was outgoing, friendly and possessed a fluid swing as he attacked the ball. He had a rough first day. When I checked him in on day two he acknowledged his difficult round, but assured me today was a new day and he would be better. Indeed he was better, by 12 shots. He said, it really didn’t matter how he scored. He was just happy to be there playing. His family members were the most complimentary of any group participating.

I was also impressed by a golfer from Georgia. Through a misunderstanding he showed up to his day two tee time late. His group had already teed off and were preparing to hit their approach shots to the first green. He was informed he would be allowed to play, but had to take a 10 on the first hole. Off he went to play 17 holes. Understandably shaken by the circumstances, he hit two balls out of bounds on the second hole and took a nine. He finished the day with a 95. Many kids would have packed their clubs and clothes and headed home. Not this fella. For day three he arrived 30 minutes ahead of his tee time. His eyes were steely, but his smile was charming. He finished his third round with a 79. I was able to visit with him after the round and his smile was even wider than when he had teed off. I told him I knew he would play well when I looked into his eyes and saw his determination. I told him I admired his courage to come back and prove to himself what a competitor he was. His smile grew even wider.

The third golfer was a player from Pennsylvania. When I say “player” I mean he could really play the game of golf. For three rounds he shot under par and finished fifth overall. Very impressive to say the least. But his scores are not what I will remember. What gave me a thrill was his humility and his character. You see his caddy was his mother. I had teased him after his sensational first round telling him how fortunate he was to have such an outstanding caddy. Without batting an eye he said, “She made all the difference in the world.” His mother blushed profusely and explained to me, she knew very little about golf, but wanted to be there to push the cart and not just be a spectator.” I was so impressed that this handsome kid had already learned the importance of sharing the credit and understanding that you get far more than you give. His mother was obviously far more than a cart pusher. She was a teacher of values and principles. A terrific teacher.

The fourth golfer was from South Africa. I knew this “chap” was special from our first introductions. “Good day mate!” he said putting out his hand to greet me. His smile exposed two large dimples and the gleam in his eyes were like two freshly lit candles. He didn’t look 13 – more like 10, but he carried himself like he was in his 20’s. He was charismatic and a delightful conversationalist. He was the first to extend a hand in introductions, and always wished his fellow participants well. Following a challenging first day he reported for day two with even more enthusiasm. “I didn’t play as well as I could have, but today is a beautiful day and I will play better.” His positive attitude led him to a six shot improvement and the next day he nearly matched that score. This “mate” was playing for the right reasons. To compete against the golf course and have fun. He succeeded on both counts.

Four quick stories. I could share 120 more. Every one of these 13 year old men has a story. But I was taken by these four golfers because of one more reason – their parents.

It was so obvious these four have been raised to understand what matters most in life – your values, your character, your integrity. These set of parents didn’t make excuses when their sons played below average. They didn’t gloat when they had a good round. They didn’t live vicariously through their child. All four parents were actively involved in their son’s participation. Whether they were on the bag as a caddy (as four parents were) or they were walking 18 holes and encouraging from the gallery. I have no idea what these parents do for a living, but their most important job is raising their offspring. From the examples of those three days, they have been doing a super job!

I’ve always said you can learn more about a person in a four hour round of golf then you can working with them for a year. I guess I can same the same thing about a parent/child relationship on the golf course. It was gratifying, encouraging and certainly gave me hope for the future.

Until next time…

I’ve been in coaching roles during most of my adult life. Coaching in sports, with volunteer organizations and throughout my career. I have a presentation based on Don Shula and Ken Blanchard’s book called “Everyone’s a Coach.” We have all been or will be in coaching situations. Be it at home or in the professional world, a good coach teaches, encourages, develops, provides guidance, examples and support.

My most memorable “coachable moments” often deal with negative outcomes. Situations where someone didn’t meet their expectations (and likely mine). I recall coaching a baseball game when my player was struggling mightily with the bat. True to his plight, he came to the plate with the bases loaded in the bottom of ninth. We were trailing by a run. As he plodded toward the plate his shoulders slumped and the bill of his blue batting helmet was tugged toward his nose to mask the fear in his eyes. I suspected the pitcher picked up on his body language as well as I had. I quickly called time out. Meeting my player half-way up the third base line he looked up at me with those hollow, scared eyes. I said, “Would you like me pinch hit for you?”

His eyes lit up as he said, “Sure coach, if you think that’s what’s best for the team.”

I smiled and said, “What’s best for the team is for you to forget about everything that has happened before and look forward to how good you are going to feel when you get the winning hit in the bottom of the ninth!” I continued, “You see it doesn’t matter what has transpired up to this point. What matters is what you do next. Now I want you to turn around, race to the batters box, dig in and swing at the first pitch. It’s going to be an inside fastball that you’re going to smack for the game winning hit.”

With renewed confidence, he swung at the first pitch and smashed a single up the middle for the game winning hit. It was a magic moment for him and frankly for me. I have several good memories of coaching moments that turned out positive. But that’s not the point of the story. The point is, we all have slumps. We all make mistakes. We all have shortcomings. We all say and do things we wish we hadn’t done. I’ve learned it doesn’t help to dwell on those slumps, mistakes, shortcomings or errors in action or judgement. What does help is to learn, apply what you’ve learned and move forward.

Do you ever lay in bed at night and think of all the things that went wrong during a day? I have. It’s not a fun way to fall asleep. A much better process is to find a quiet time and place and think about what positive contributions you will make tomorrow.

I could fill these blog posts with hundreds of pages of mistakes I’ve made and things I would do differently. But the only purpose that would serve is to feel sorry for myself and enable a “Victim Mentality.” Woe is NOT me.

What I suggest, and what I continually try to do, is think about what I can do better and how I can approach things in a more positive vein. Then use what I learned from my past which will help me in the future. It’s not always easy to do. As I’ve talked about multiple times, that voice inside your head loves to take over and control you mentally and physically. Don’t let it.

End your day by thinking about tomorrow. Anticipate the goodness that lies ahead of you and look forward to making that tomorrow the best day yet.

Until next time……

For me, the golf swing is a metaphor for life. I’ve been told my golf swing is like a snowflake – no two swings are ever alike. Pretty funny, I know, but sometimes during a round it feels like a true statement.

So why do I say the golf swing (particularly my golf swing) is a metaphor for life? Actually there are various reasons…

As in life, you need to be relaxed, enjoy what you’re doing, don’t try too hard, stress out, or put extra pressure on yourself. At work or on the golf course, being on a team, or a foursome who are encouraging, helpful and enjoyable is a good start to your day or round.

As in life, you need to understand the fundamentals, continually gain knowledge, and put into practice what you learn.

As in life, you should be focused, consistent and understand the difference between right and wrong. You have to know what you are doing wrong and correct it to be successful. I’ve watched people on the driving range make the same mistakes over and over and wonder why they top the ball, slice the ball or hit sharp duck-hooks.

Don Shula, former Super Bowl winning coach for the Miami Dolphins used the term “practice perfection.” He believed if you practiced what you wanted to accomplish during the game you would be ready for anything. You would then react without fear or trepidation.

That same principle applies to the golf swing. Being consistent with your swing allows you to be ready for any situation – regardless of where your ball may lie. If you can stay awake while watching golf on TV, you’ll notice the pros have consistent, panic free swings. It doesn’t matter if they’re in the fairway, the rough, or the bunker.

As in life, you must believe in yourself and trust your judgement. Not trusting my swing, or believing I could make a shot, has cost me countless times. Henry Ford once said “If you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.” As in life or swinging the golf club – you must believe in yourself.

I recall with fondness, a mentee who had struggled to get their college degree in their 20’s. Soon their 20’s became their 30’s and they went from single to married with children. It would have been easy to settle – after all raising children is as noble of a profession as there is today. But this person believed in themselves. They put together a plan and a goal and focused on achieving their goal. I know it wasn’t easy, but that belief in one’s ability can overcome many hurdles, challenges and obstacles. Not only did they receive their college degree, they went on to achieve an advance degree in their chosen field.

Now, when I’m faced with a downhill lie, a ball situated under the lip of a yawning pot bunker, or a long fairway wood over a expansive body of water I should remember that mentee. I should select the club, relax and remember the mentee who trusted their ability and accomplished their cherished goal. In comparison, trusting my swing should be an easy task.

I guarantee your life (and my golf swing) will continue to improve if you believe in yourself and keep swinging with joy in your heart and a smile on your face.

Until next time….

It’s that time of year again. The time of year when my mind and the voice inside my mind create more tumult than a pile of autumn leaves in a windstorm. It’s the time of year where I have to focus, really focus, on positive thinking. If I don’t, the voice inside my head can take over. It can drag me down a vortex that is extremely difficult to reverse.

Why this time of year? The falling leaves, the falling temperatures, the shorter days, the longer nights, the holidays, the possibility of catching a cold or the flu or even chapped lips. It’s that depressing, frustrating feeling that the cold wind always seem to be in your face when you’re walking the dog.

Recently, close relatives have been faced with significant illnesses. Staying positive is even more critical when dealing with illness. A person facing the harsh reality of an illness or physical limitation has to focus on things that will put them in a better frame of mind. So much easier said then done when it is not you facing a health challenge. But time and time again I’ve seen people rise above their difficulties to achieve a goal or beat an illness with the help of a positive approach.

Trying to stay positive this time of year is also challenging because of the pressure many people put on themselves. Whether it is the pressure to get holiday cards in the mail, hosting a gathering, or buying the perfect Christmas gift for a friend or family member, the pressure can build like the scalding oil in a turkey fryer.

My daughter was feeling that heat just the other day. She felt like she was running out of time and lacking in creative ideas. To reduce the pressure, we sat down and discussed her thoughts, put things in the proper perspective and prioritized what she was facing. Within 24 hours the pot was no longer boiling and she was ready to face the future.

I know it’s not always that simple. But telling your mind to slow down or stop is the first step. Then taking a moment to re-evaluate the importance and significance of what challenges you may be facing is the next step. It will take your mind out of the downward spiral that can bring both mind and body crashing down. It will make you feel like the wind is actually at your back helping to carry you along.

This time of year can be a lonely time for single people, the elderly, shut-ins and people who cannot be with their loved ones. But it can also be lonely for just about anyone else who is coping with depression, anxiety, financial or health issues. Reaching out to those who you know are lonely or others who you feel are faced with challenges will likely be the best gift you can give this holiday season. The gift of your time, your compassion and your caring way will make a profound and lasting difference in that person’s life. You will be like the wind at their back helping to carry them through a difficult time.

Happy and Healthy Holidays…..

Recently, while driving through south central Ohio, on a rainy Thursday morning, my truck blew a tire. I was fortunate to be near the Washington Court House exit and made it to the bottom of the exit ramp. A shard of metal had sliced the sidewall and the tire was shredded like a head of cabbage about ready to become cole slaw.

I took the key to the back of the truck to unlock the spare. It didn’t work. I tried the spare key without success. I’m not what you would call a handy guy, so I figured it was operator error. I was forced to contact emergency road services. When the man arrived he went through the same process I did with the same result. He said he’d have to get a flat bed tow truck to take me to a dealership. I said there must be an easier way, let me call the dealership where I bought the vehicle. Here’s a little bit how that conversation went:

ME: “I’m sitting in the rain on a highway with a flat tire and can’t remove the spare tire.”

Guy at Dealership: “Oh yeah, that happens sometimes. You’ll have to cut the cable to release the tire.”

ME: “I’m stuck in the rain on a highway in south central Ohio. I don’t have cable cutters. Is this a known defect?”

Guy at Dealership: “Yes, as I said this happens sometimes. Nothing I can do for you. Good luck.”

I emerged from the truck and told the man what had happened. “I’m not surprised,” he said.

While I was waiting, I called the dealership to let them know we’d be coming. Forty minutes later a flat bed truck arrived. The man slid under the truck on the wet muddy shoulder of the exit ramp and hooked it up. Then we both drove to the local dealership. The shop was filled with cars, so I estimated my wait time would be substantial. I was surprised when a man in a blue shirt appeared with my truck less than 30 minutes later.

I asked if I could speak to the service manager to thank him for getting me in and out so quickly. He said, “I am the service manager.”

I was shocked. “Wow” was all I could utter. “I really appreciate it. How much do I owe you?’

“No charge,” he replied with a grin. “From what I know you’ve been waiting long enough and you still have a long way to go. Travel safe.”

I couldn’t thank him enough.

I climbed into my truck and made my way back to the highway. As I drove home I made two hands-free phone calls. The first was to the tow truck driver who had crawled under the truck getting all wet and muddy on my behalf. I thanked him once again and told him he drove away before I could tip him and say thanks. He said, no tip was necessary and that he was just doing his job.

The second call was to the car dealership. The receptionist answered the phone and I asked to speak to the top ranking person at the dealership. The next voice I heard was a strong baritone who identified himself and asked if he could help me. I proceeded to tell him about the amazing customer service I had received from his employees. He said he was glad to hear it and would be sure they knew I had called. He told me they were doing what they were supposed to be doing.

I said, “That may be so, but when you compare how they did their job compared to the dealership where I had purchased my truck, there was no comparison. The other dealership showed no compassion, no empathy and no help. Your staff, who didn’t know me, who didn’t have a personal relationship with me, or had nothing to gain from a transient customer, bent over backwards for me.”

Needless to say I won’t be buying any more vehicles at the dealership in Illinois. But someday I might be driving through Washington Courthouse and decide I need a new vehicle from the Carroll Halliday dealership.

I’m certain we all have customer service stories to share. I have many more. Dealing with regulatory agencies, utilities, or communication companies quickly come to mind. I’m often reminded of the philosophy of Don Gallegos. Don created King Soopers Grocery stores, a very successful chain in Colorado. He says “The customer is not always right, but they are always the customer.”

All too often in our business or personal life we forget that we don’t have to always agree with someone. But if we try to understand them, walk a while in their shoes and show empathy, it could make an enormous difference. When you make things happen for someone, especially something good and unexpected, it makes their day and usually makes yours.

Until next time…

About ten years ago I ran across a book written by Julie Jansen entitled “You Want me to Work With Who?” Julie did a wonderful job of providing eleven keys to working with just about anybody. Five personality types she covered included:

The Poor Communicator
The Disrespectful Person
The Rigid Person
The No-Common Sense Wheel Reinventor
The Dysfunctional Decision Maker

Whether you’re in a small business, a corporate environment, or a volunteer organization you run into these personality types. There is one other type I wish Julie would have covered. The Narcissist. As I was researching to write this entry, I found this type to be an entire personality disorder. The germination of this disorder (NPD) occurs in childhood, where the person is made to feel no matter what they do, it is never good enough. They are given a set of unattainable goals and physically or more likely than not, emotionally abused. As adults, they give the impression they are always right and highly accomplished in any field, hobby or area of their choosing. Even when proven wrong, they will twist the truth or lay blame elsewhere.

In actuality, a person with NPD lacks self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. They also have very little self-awareness. Instead they portray themselves as confident and secure. They take no responsibility for accountability. They abuse authority if given to them and manipulate situations to their benefit.

So how do you survive, cope, or associate with a person with NPD? It is NOT easy. My research, study and experience have taught me to learn to dance. By that I mean you must be able to be confident in your own skin. A person with NPD will do all they can to belittle, insult, or ridicule you in order to make themselves look better than you. Tearing you down builds themselves up, in their eyes. When the insults begin, simple consider the source and say “thank you for your opinion.” Then drop the subject or leave their presence. By handling things in this manner you take away a key lynch pin of a narcissist – their need to control people, things and situations.

Once you are comfortable in your own skin, the next step is to make sure your skin becomes your armor. You develop your armor by having the documented facts, that when challenged by the narcissist, are irrefutable. A person with NPD will never admit they are wrong or that you are right. However, they will withdraw when the facts are stacked against them. They may throw a temper tantrum, but with the facts on your side it won’t last and it actually exposes them for the narcissist they truly are.

Developing your own self-confidence and knowledge of information is like learning an emotional and intellectual “Texas Two-Step.” You can work or deal with any situation, person or personality. Just learn to dance and pretty soon the narcissist, who has always danced to the beat of their own drum, will be dancing alone – instead of leading while stepping on everybody’s toes.

Until next time….