I recall a few years back, my son, who is normally in back of the camera as a producer, was doing the sports anchor job on Father’s day. Tiger Woods was winning the U.S. Open that Sunday, but what I recall most about the eight minutes of the broadcast was his opening line. “Happy Father’s Day to all you dads, and Happy Father’s Day to you too dad.”
In the movie, “Home for the Holidays” Charles Durning was sharing one of his important memories with Holly Hunter over the course of their lives together as father and daughter.
“Ten seconds tops, great moment in my life.”
That was exactly how I reflect on that moment in my life.
I had the same sense of pride when I walked my daughter into the arms of her husband on their wedding day.
Despite my many faults as a father, the kids turned into terrific adults.
As I reflect on fathers and their offspring just prior to Father’s Day 2023, an eddy of flashbacks spin through my head.
I recall Big Ed. A charismatic, generous man who was neither big nor imposing. Ed, the father of one my dearest friends always made me feel like a member of the family. As a teenager, and then as an adult with children of my own Big Ed always made me feel at home.
I’ve heard stories of another father who lost a leg in World War II and went on to farm and raise enormous, record setting pumpkins. His son, a veteran and a very important mentor to me, was astute and frankly brilliant, when he sat down with his dad one day and video recorded his dad retelling the highlights of his life. What a treasure that must be! I’m sad, I didn’t get to meet him myself.
And of course there is Father Frank, who I have written about many times before. Frank was not my father nor a Catholic Priest, but had a profound effect on my life. I wasn’t alone. With eight children and countless mentees along a forty year career, Frank’s legacy will live on long after I am gone.
Three brief examples of fathers. One I knew well, one I never met and one who really changed my life. Which brings me to my own dad.
For nearly all of his life, he was the guy who wanted to be active. He was a golf and a hunter. A hard worker and a guy who loved to laugh. Dad wrote poetry, historical prose and songs. He wasn’t a great singer, but it didn’t stop him from belting out tunes. He was an artist, had beautiful handwriting and was an award winning pumpkin carver.
Ray Kinsella built a baseball diamond in Iowa in an attempt to have his father walk through the cornfields just long enough to “have a catch” with him one more time. I could and can relate.
My dad enjoyed playing catch with a baseball or football, but there was an unspoken stipulation. He had to be able to catch the balls without much movement. If it was too low or too high he would feign an attempt and the ball would scoot or sail by him. You than had to go get it while he waited. He wasn’t necessarily as much lazy as he was clever. It taught us all to hit our targets.
Dad was at his best when it came to a crisis. He handled drama, hardships and tragedy as well as anyone. His quiet, steely resolve got him and his family through and past tough times. Whether it was recovering from a broken leg or collar bone, the loss of a friend or family member, or other family drama, you could look to him and learn how to handle each challenging situation. It’s that inner strength I hope I have learned.
My dad didn’t go out of this world the way he or I would have wished. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t pleasant. But like he lived his life, he persevered until he could go quietly without fanfare or drama. I certainly don’t miss the way he suffered at 93, but I vividly remember the many memorable days we shared in the back yard, on long car vacations, at a baseball stadium, or on the golf course. I am thankful and blessed with those memories. Happy Father’s Day Dad!
Until next time…